July 13, 2009 "Listen to my music, and let me know what I should do"
I answered 847 emails in 12 hours today. That’s an average of 51 seconds each. But the single most common request I got was, “Take a listen to my music and let me know what I should do.”
Those emails took the longest. I never know what to do with that request.
Most of the time, the music is good. Not the best or worst thing you’ve ever heard, but good.
So I could critique someone’s songwriting, vocals, or production, but then what? Would they actually go change their music just to meet my tastes? That’d be unwise. I’m just a musician that listens mostly to traditional Persian music and trip-hop. I built a website that musicians use, but I was never known for my taste in music.
The music itself usually doesn’t make it clear what someone should do.
What if I was in a different industry and people said:
“I’m trying to find a spouse. Look at my photo and tell me what I should do.”
or:
“I want to be a millionaire. Look at my bank account and tell me what I should do.”
The real answer is “it depends…”
- What are your goals? Why are you making music?
- What have you done so far? What’s worked? What hasn’t?
- What is your reaction to criticism or setbacks?
- Are you future-focused or present-focused?
- What are your strengths and weaknesses?
- What are your habits? Are you growing or coasting?
- How do you measure success? Fame? Money? Emotional response?
- What’s your timeline? 1 year? 3 years? 30 years?
- … and 50 other questions that would make this article too long.
It’d take many hours of conversation to get enough information to responsibly tell someone what to do. But since I only have a few minutes, I point people to the advice I’ve already written and the books that have inspired me, then hope they know how it will apply to their unique situation.
I always feel a little disappointed that I can’t be more helpful, but that’s what coaching is about, so I better get that going soon.
P.S. If this interests you, see a related article: “Let me know what you think”.
Reader Comments (4)
I get mass mailed that question every day. It's a marketing ploy in a lot of cases. I'm surprised that's not mentioned in this or the other post of your's to which you link.
Play music because you like it not to get famous. That's what you should do. If people like your music, then try and play to more people. If the don't like then work out why, and if you want to change to please your audience then do it.
I think most musicians are worried about myspace plays, getting famous and talking in the 3rd person. 'i.e Dave is the next biggest thing'. Your right, work out your goals and then be realistic, and don't forget to smile along the way because it's supposed to be fun.
"How do you measure success? Fame? Money? Emotional response?"
EXACTLY.
What do you want to get out of it and then we can start talking about how to go for it.
Interesting post,
Good luck with all those emails!
Good post, Derek and it illustrates the unfortunate plight of many artists: not being either really good or really bad is probably the worst place an artist can be. Smack-dab in the wasteland of common mediocrity that sits waiting anxiously for validation in the middle of the bell curve. That invisible purgatory where nobody really cares...
Take marriage as a metaphor: what is the opposite of love? It's not hate - actually it's apathy. It's "I don't care"! If somebody hates you, then you know exactly where you stand. You probably have a better chance of doing something, almost anything in fact, that can cause a fix for something that is broken. Hate is a very strong motivator. Nobody wants to be hated for very long so they're determined to find the quickest path out of that hole. It's survival.
On the other side of the coin is celebrated love. When you are truly loved, you're constantly being showered with adoration and affection. Being a "celebrity" can put you in a positive feedback loop, constantly reinforcing your convictions, confidence and self-esteem that in turn, makes you even more desirable. Just keep doing whatever it is you're doing if it's working...
But, "I don't care" leaves you neither loved or hated. It makes you invisible - off the radar. When you ask, "Hey, what do think of my music?" and the response is, "It sounds OK (read: it's nothing special)", you're doomed. The good news is that you can go in almost any direction to try to get away from the middle. The bad news is that there are an infinite number of paths you have to choose from. And the many circular ones will lead you right back to where you are now - nowhere! Even worse is when you ask someone else who is also stuck in the middle which direction to go. Now you really have a situation where the blind are leading the blind.
This doesn't mean you can't ask for help. If you're asking a trusted mentor or someone who has demonstrated success in your shared domain, they can sometimes point you in the right direction. This may keep you from making a few wrong turns, but won't provide any shortcuts to success. You're still responsible for earning your Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours.
The key, I think, is conviction (and time) - conviction based on the desire to communicate as an artist. Conviction can (note: not gauranteed) lead to prescience and prescience helps guide us to see the artist within ourselves. Having determination, drive and self-confidence is always a better compass than waiting for around for external validation. Only when we're convinced that we're truly good and only when we really believe we have something important to say will we be on the path away from apathy. Then we can say, "I don't care". Like it or lump it!
The other factor is time. Once we've invested a significant amount of hours necessary to achieve some level of domain expertise, we no longer have to ask others what to do. We KNOW what to do and we just keep doing it. Validation is gained over the course the journey, not just when we've reached the destination. In fact, the best journeys never conclude. They just keep us anticipating what is going to happen next...